BOB

Andrew raised up wit a start, he knew what tha fuck had happened n' his thugged-out ass sank, tha sound of tha glass shatterin downstairs had done tha same ta his nerves. Well shiiiit, it had come in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Afta weekz of watchin n' stalkin his ass tha creature had finally decided ta break in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da patio doors, made straight-up of glass, provided it wit tha slick entrance.

Andrew laid there up in bed, up in tha blacknizz only illuminated by tha lil' small-ass amount of clear light dat tha moon provided all up in tha space between tha curtains yo. Dude listened fo' Da Creature, listened ta peep if dat shiznit was inside, secretly prayin dat every last muthafuckin thang would be silent. Da terrifyin crackin of glass under its feet confirmed his crazy-ass most shitty fear, it had finally made its way tha fuck into his home.

With dis crushin realisation Andrew, now bobbin, grabbed his cold-ass titanium basebizzle bat n' crept downstairs deeper tha fuck into tha darkness, determined ta confront dis thang once n' fo' all, secretly hopin though, dat it would run away when it saw his ass as it normally done did. Andrew stood all up in tha bottom of tha stairs, listenin fo' realz. At first all dat schmoooove muthafucka heard was tha crackin of glass under Da Creatures feet, then, fo' tha last time, Andrew heard Da Creature, breathang heavily as if its throat was blocked by phlegm. Da hideous creature snarled n' clicked, gradually gettin closer ta Andrew.

Now outta tha kitchen, tha creature was finally off of tha glass. Well shiiiit, it strutted almost silently now, strangely mo' agile than it looked, especially thankin bout how tha fuck clumsily it ran away fo' realz. Andrew realised what tha fuck dat schmoooove muthafucka had ta do yo. Dude grasped his weapon tighta and... Froze, unable ta move yo. Dude knew he needed ta battle it but he just couldn't. Its teeth, its eyes, its skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Human yo, but not quite. Da Creature was up in tha livin room now n' edgin closer by tha second yet Andrew was still too terrified ta move, even if it didn't have arms, dis Creature was tha embodiment of terror ta Andrew.

Andrew stood all up in tha bottom of tha stairs, bobbin yo. Dude heard Da Creature gettin eva closer, tha sickenin sound of its distorted breathang amplified by tha almost pitch darkness. Da Creature was nearly at Andrew, dat schmoooove muthafucka had one chizzle ta bust a cap up in it n' da thug wasn't goin ta waste dat shit.

Da Creature stepped tha fuck into tha doorway ta tha stairs, Andrew was hidden just ta tha left yo. Dude swung at fall force, hittin Da Creature up in tha chest wit tha bat. Da Creature staggered back, then stopped n' looked at Andrew, its tiny wild eyes starin tha fuck into Andrews ass fo' realz. Andrew felt a thugged-out deep fear of Da Creature unlike anythang dat schmoooove muthafucka had eva experienced. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da Creature then let up a gurgled hiss at Andrew, barin all of its sickenin deformed teeth up in tha process.

Da Creature kicked Andrew up in tha gut, windin his muthafuckin ass fo' realz. Andrew fell tha fuck ta tha floor up in pain, unable ta breathe fo' realz. Andrew rolled onto his back n' scuffled up against tha wall just behind his muthafuckin ass. Da Creature peeped his ass until he reached tha wall, at which point it strutted towardz his ass n' looked down at Andrew as if it was judgin him, lyin there, helpless. Da Creature stamped on his shin, snappin tha bone. Tears fuckin started ta stream from Andrews eyes, tha pain so intense Andrew thought da thug was goin ta vomit.

Andrew, now incapacitated, had nowhere ta go n' no way ta fight. Da Creature placed its foot on Andrews stomach, pressin down, rippin tha fuck into his wild lil' flesh wit its long dirty toenails. With Da Creaturez foot now straight-up inside his stomach, Andrew started ta cough blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Tears streamed down his wild lil' grill yo. Dude passed up from tha pain, n' then took a dirt nap. Da Creature loomed over what tha fuck was by now his bloody corpse. Da creature descended its grill toward Andrews n' then tore away a funky-ass bloody piece of flesh from Andrews chin, dislocatin one side of his jaw up in tha process. Da creature continued ta tear n' eviscerate Andrewz corpse until every last muthafuckin thang tha creature could stomach had been devoured. Da Creature then left... Calmly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Silently. With a pure n' deep hatred up in its ass. Da Creature left, tha same way it came in, all up in tha fucked up patio doors...